The Beauty of Crying

"Sometimes you just need a good cry." This seems to be a motto that runs through the veins of my female relatives. I used to repeatedly catch my mom watching a sappy homemade Mothers Day slide show on her computer with tears running down her cheeks. I can almost always bet on my mom tearing up every 24 hours on the hour, it could be a from a inspiration e-mail one of her book club friends sent her, or talking about how proud she is of her children, or bringing up a heartwarming memory of my grandpa...come to think about it she is probably crying just reading this blog. My little cousin Grace can't hold back her tears whenever the church choir sings Amazing Grace and by just looking at her it starts a chain reaction of cries right down the pew of the rest of her soppy female relatives. My sister Sheila weeps her little heart out every time she has to leave our family's home after a week vacation to head to the airport. My sister Katie always surprises me when she cries. I never know exactly when it is going to come out but when it does-oh baby it pours. She has this amazingly strong love for people in her life and is constantly striving to make things perfect for those people. But when those people in her life (including me) take out our bad mood on her, her frustration and hard work boils up in the form of old faithful.

I never thought I'd ever tear up as much as my mother does...she is still the record holder, but I am definitely catching up. My tears are another thing that surprise me- they come along with frustration and chick flicks, but then they accidentally squeeze themselves out during class. For a introduction activity for one of my courses, we were asked to do an autobiographical poem. Afterwords, we discussed our poems and who we see ourselves as. I brought up the point that we are often defined by how we are seen by others and how we have no idea how others see us and therefore it is impossible to know our full definitions. Then I got that big old beautiful knot in my throat that makes my voice sound as if I am impersonating Minny mouse, saying "Sometimes my friends and family know me better than I know myself, whether it is a package of peeps my friend picked up for me from CVS just as a small reminder that even though I am miles away from my home there is still somebody that loves me enough to know that when I am having a bad day a package of my favorite candy is all I need, or sometimes all I need is a call from one my sisters giving me a pep talk about what is going on in my life." Luckily, I don't think anybody in my class noticed my red eyes. But it makes me laugh just thinking that if my mom and sisters were sitting next to me they'd be tearing up too. It isn't just our blood that proves we are related, it is the obscene amount of water our tearducts are able to produce.

"There are always flowers for those who want to see them."